NOTE:  We know that several families follow this blog.  Some material in this blog post, while still clean, is outside the normal scope of the typical “PG rated” conversations found here.  Parents are encouraged to first read this post and decide for themselves if it is appropriate for their family at this time. Thank you!

LIMIT:  noun – a:  something that bounds, restrains, or confines b : the utmost extent

Yesterday was a hard day for me.  Not the “I had a bad night sleep” kind of hard day.  Not the “Life sure would be nice if I didn’t have to deal with that person” kind of hard day. (though I’ve had both!)  It was one of those days where something in a conversation first made me aware of, and then slammed me up against the wall of, a self-imposed moral limitation that I didn’t even know I held.

Perhaps calling it a limitation is a bit strong.  Limitations are hard boundaries.  In some situations, limitations are absolutely necessary.  Take the speed limit for example; or the limit on the amount of a certain medication that is safe for you to take.  They are set by some (possibly arbitrary) manner of logic or research with the intent of keeping us safe.

Sometimes, however, I think “limits” can be a pansy way for us to not have to face up to our own PREFERENCES.  That is what I ran head into and wrestled with yesterday.  In fact, it continued all the way until this morning when I decided that my limit was really not a limit at all, but rather me simply responding inappropriately to something because it made me somehow uncomfortable.  I found myself professing internally that “I couldn’t do that.  That is just too far.”  What I really came to grips with is the fact that this particular situation would have put me into somewhere uncomfortable (for me) in the process of sharing Jesus with another.  Since I didn’t KNOW if I could do it comfortably in this particular environment (I know.  Who ever said comfort was part of the deal?), it was easier to play the limit card in my head.  Fortunately, something inside me couldn’t let it rest.

So what was it that threw me into this tailspin?  What took me outside my comfort zone?  I was on the phone with a friend who said that she wanted to introduce our organization to another organization she thought we should get to know and possibly even work with.  Similar to the Kentucky “Different Miracle” project we participated in back in 2009, they had just recently been to Nevada and completed an “extreme makeover” of their own… on the living quarters of six young ladies that worked for and lived at their place of employment – Nevada’s oldest brothel.

In connection with XXXchurch.com and StripChurch, the folks at Engage The Current, a Florida based college ministry, traveled to Las Vegas to share the love of Jesus with the young ladies working at a historic Ely, NV brothel.  While not touching the “working” space, they would spend four days renovating and remodeling the rooms that these young ladies “lived” in.  Repressed, cramped spaces with mold on the walls and rust in the toilets became warm, clean reminders that regardless of their situation or occupation, these women were in fact LOVED.  With new paint, furniture, carpet, and bedding, the group underscored the LOVED message by both their actions and the “Loved” scripting painted on the walls and embroidered on the pillows.  On the new nightstand by each girl’s bed sat a book entitled “Jesus Loves You, This I Know”.

Was it controversial?  Yes – but not for the sake of controversy.  It was controversial because it crossed perceived limits.  Would I have been comfortable in this situation?  No. (Before someone makes this argument for me, it is fair to say that for our family, this project was not an place I would want to take my children at this stage of their life because it would likely force a conversation I am not ready to have with them yet. Given that we typically do everything as a family, it would have been totally reasonable for me to decline.)  The funny thing, however, is that we were never even ASKED to participate in any way.  I merely had a panic reaction the moment I saw what the folks at Current had already done, wrestling with how I would have responded if they HAD asked!

The whole project, however, is not where my issue, or the point of this post, lies.  MY OWN LINE OF THINKING is what disturbed me.  Instead of looking at why I would not have considered this for a project for my family, I simply and quickly made a snap judgment that it was too far to go.  I don’t like that.  I find it ugly and prideful.  Thanks to those who had the courage to get beyond most people’s comfort zones (possibly even their own) and make it happen.  You loved well, and in the process, caused me to have to face up to one of my own shortcomings.  Oh, and lest you get the wrong idea, please – we’d love to connect on a project sometime!

Check out the videos of the Brothel Makeover here:

Video #1 – The vision and the rooms

Video #2 – The Makeover

So… limits or preferences.  One claims “I can’t” and the other “I won’t because I choose not to.” My hope is that we at least recognize the difference and be honest enough to call our reasons by the right name.

What would you have done?  In what situations have you recently jumped to “I can’t” when what you really meant is “I won’t”?